Remember....

One of my dearest friends, Toi, had her baby girl yesterday, baby Tessa. She is absolutely beautiful! So cute and adorable! There is nothing on earth like holding a baby that is only a few hours old! And after leaving the hospital I came home and looked through some of my pictures from when Ethan was born. It is really amazing to look back and see just how far we have come in just six short months. Below is a picture of Ethan taking a bath now. And then of his first bath. It was taken when he was a month old. Wow! It is so nice (and worry free) to have my baby thick and healthy! When I look at the picture of his bath, he looks so....unhealthy. TOO THIN - almost sickly. God is amazing. He took me through something I don't care to repeat and sometimes it brings me to tears to remember... But He taught me to trust Him. In a way that I never have before. It is a rare moment to feel completely out of control when it comes to your own baby. Not to have a say. To have to call to "ask" permission if you can come visit. To be asked not to hold him. To sit and watch his monitors and not understand why his numbers won't cooperate. To try and explain to my other babies at home why their baby brother isn't home and why they can't see him or hold him..

But as I sit here and type these very words I am holding my baby - Big E (the household name for our chunky "preemie") And I am grateful. God is good. And I am blessed.